They’re Just Not That Into You

Breaking up is hard to do. The old song is as true for romantic relationships as it is for candidates interviewing for a plum role with a great company. Even if it is a brief courting period/interview process, you have invested time, energy and significant effort. You’ve started getting excited for the future. And then, suddenly, you find that the feelings are not reciprocated.  The hiring manager or recruiter delivers the bad news, with something like “we’re moving in a different direction“, or “we’ve filled the position internally”, otherwise known as “It’s not you, it’s me” message. In rare cases, you’ll actually find out it was you and get some meaningful feedback. Either way, it’s clear, what you thought was the beginning of a meaningful, long term relationship is over, done, caput, finished. Time to take a breath and exit nicely, else you scorch the earth by becoming the stage five clinger* candidate.

I am an Executive Recruiter who works on high level searches for my clients, and have to let candidates know of tough decisions in the recruiting process on a regular basis. Very recently, I have had two candidates in separate searches who handled the news of “the breakup” quite differently.

The first candidate, who we will call Jack**, interviewed with me for a role with Company A. I liked Jack’s skills and experience, and believed that he could be a fit for the role. I presented him to my client, who did a phone interview with him. The feedback was that he had highly relevant experience, but came across as arrogant, talked over the client throughout the interview, and spoke ill of former coworkers (all things he did not display in his interview with me). The client, understandably, felt that this was not the best fit for their culture. When I called Jack to explain, he went ballistic. He told me that the client and I did not know what we were doing, he would find someone more important than us at the organization who would understand how great he was, and that the client did not give him enough time to explain his experience. A few days later, he sent a scathing email to the client. Five paragraphs of how we had made an egregious mistake by not hiring him. Thankfully, my client and I have an open and honest relationship, and she forwarded it to me. How embarrassing for me and how uncomfortable for my client. We decided to go ahead and hire him. I kid! We clearly are moving on to candidates who are a better fit for the job and the organization.

I was then understandably gun shy when I had to share news with a candidate interviewing with another client, Company B. They had decided to move forward with other candidates. This candidate, who we will call Sonny***, interviewed for a role of a similar level as Jack had with my other client. When I called him, he listened, asked for feedback, and though I could hear the surprise in his voice at the news and he was quieter than usual, he thanked me for the consideration. Within an hour, he emailed me to say that he was sorry if he seemed short with me. He had been surprised by the news, but upon reflection understood the client’s decision and wished them well. He further thanked me for the feedback, and said that it was great working with me and he hoped that we would have a chance to work together again.

Regardless of the reasoning, shock and bruised feelings are inevitable when someone finds out that they are not “the one”, and there will be a period of mourning while the dreams and excitement of the future fade away. The difference between Jack and Sonny is obvious. One burned a bridge, and one was a true professional, which left a lasting positive impression. Guess who I will call to play matchmaker for the next time I have a great catch of a job?

 

*Thank you, Wedding Crashers, for this gem!

**Name has been changed to protect the guilty

***Name has been changed to protect the rock star candidate who handled the situation with elegance and grace.

 

Cindy Joyce is the CEO of Pillar Search & HR Consulting. With over 20 years of experience, Pillar provides national retained search services for exceptional non-profits and foundations and early-stage or rapid growth for-profit firms. All share the characteristic of desiring top talent who want an occupassion, not just an occupation.     In addition, Pillar offers human resources consulting services, which was born of clients requesting help on projects beyond executive search, and includes leadership coaching, human resources audits, handbooks, assessing organizational design, training, team building, and employee communications. A woman-owned business, Pillar is based in Boston, MA, and works on both a local and national level. For more information, please visit www.pillarsearch.com.

 

 

 

How to Deal With the Karen Walker Employee

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Remember the fabulous show Will & Grace? For those who were not privy to it, the show ran from the late 1990’s through 2005. Based in New York, it followed the lives of best friends. Grace Adler, a woman who ran her own interior design firm had an assistant, Karen Walker, a very rich, oft-drunk socialite. Karen made no bones about the job being a hobby for her, which resulted in some very funny moments. My personal favorite Karen-ism?

Grace Adler: Karen, I don’t want a check. I want assistance. I’m the boss. I give you checks.

Karen Walker: Yes, you do, honey, and I love them. I do. You know, I keep them all right here in this box.

While TV can show the hilarity of treating a job like a hobby, in real life it’s anything but. I’ve worked with two clients this year alone who were struggling with how to work with an employee who treated their job with a nonchalant, devil-may-care, laisez-faire attitude.

While I understand that everyone has a different tolerance for stress and some can make everything seem like a breeze, the Karen Walker employee is toxic because they do the bare minimum and seemingly flaunt it in the face of their boss and colleagues. They skim that line of acceptable performance, but seem to pull far enough away from underperforming at the last minute that it keeps them employed for far too long.

The cost you expect? Other employees. The Wills and Graces of the organization, the ones with actual passion for their job and a strong sense of work ethic. While underperformers can harm morale, the Karens pour gasoline on the culture you have tried so hard to build, and then slowly burn it.

The cost that may surprise you? It takes a huge toll on your brand and worth as a leader. People will wonder if you are either aware of their bad behavior and lack the guts to do anything about it, or if you are too clueless to notice.

Nip it in the bud. In the case of my two clients, they hired me to do coaching with each of their Karen Walker employees. The first? In Karen’s words, “Oh honey no, just no.” No amount of coaching, attempts at getting the employee to modify their behavior, recognize the impact on their colleagues, or gaining better understanding the company culture worked. Thankfully, the other person responded well to the coaching and was able to make modifications to their behavior and attitude and is now thriving.   If only Grace Adler had hired Pillar Search & HR Consulting!

Cindy Joyce to Present at Lean In Boston Chapter!

Lean In is a nonprofit organization and online community dedicated to helping all women achieve their ambitions.

 

Tickets are available at https://www.eventbrite.com/e/boost-your-personal-brand-with-lean-in-boston-chapter-tickets-22668203206

 

Speakers

Cindy Joyce, Founder, Pillar Search on Promoting Yourself on Social Media

Social Media can be daunting. Between websites, blogs, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and more, the opportunities to engage online are endless. How do you focus your efforts? In this discussion, Cindy outlines:

  • The Brand of YOU
  • Knowing your Audience
  • How to Build Credability with Content
  • Building Relationships

Cindy Joyce is the Founder of Pillar Search. With over 20 years of experience in recruiting and human resources, Cindy has a proved ability to build and maintain professional relationships. She has worked and volunteered at some truly great organizations including City Year, Lois L. Lindauer Searches, Junior League, Harvard Law School, FundQuest, Acadian Asset Management, and Dress for Success. Based in Boston, Cindy works on local and national executive searches.  Her human resources experience has afforded her an opportunity to work with clients in both non-profits and for-profits, with an emphasis on improving employee productivity and promoting a strong organizational culture. 

Elaine Varelas, Managing Partner, Keystone Partners on Career Boosters and Busters

We all share the desire to achieve career success, but as women the challenges that we face in the workforce are unique and the things that we need to do to drive career success are not always obvious. Additionally, many of us do things to derail our career and we don’t even know it. In this interactive session, Elaine Varelas will review the top career boosters and busters and show you how to avoid these insidious career derailers, while making changes (big and small) that will boost your career to the next level.

Elaine Varelas, Managing Partner of Keystone Partners, has over 20 years experience in career consulting and coaching development, and has worked with numerous executive management teams to improve organizational effectiveness. She has expertise in successfully resolving complex career management issues, including workforce planning, redeployment and multi-site restructurings. Elaine also serves as Treasurer of Career Partners International, LLC, a network of independently owned career management firms which Keystone co-founded in 1987.

For an additional $10, sign-up to have a professional headshot taken by April of Sweet Monday Photography. Did you know that your LinkedIn Profile is 11X more likely to be viewed if it has a picture? It’s worth the investment in a headshot that people will remember!

Want to get your hair done before the event? Call Blo Seaport at 617 426 0874 to book your reservation for March 30 and save $5 on the appointment when you mention Lean In.

When

Where

WeWork – 745 Atlantic Avenue, Boston, MA 02111 – View Map

Upcoming Speaking Engagement! Boost Your Personal Brand with Lean In Boston Chapter

I am honored and excited to have been selected as one of the speakers at Lean In Boston’s next Chapter meeting, where I will be leading a discussion how to promote yourself on social media. Joining me will be Elaine Varelas, Managing Director, Keystone Partners, who will be leading a discussion on career boosters and busters. Follow Lean In Boston on Facebook for more details on what is sure to be an exciting event.

Save the Date!  March 30, 2016 5:30 p.m. at WeWork South Station, Boston, MA

About Lean In:

The book Lean In is focused on encouraging women to pursue their ambitions, and changing the conversation from what we can’t do to what we can do. LeanIn.Org is the next chapter. Lean In is committed to offering women the ongoing inspiration and support to help them achieve their goals. Lean In believes that if we talk openly about the challenges women face and work together, we can change the trajectory of women and create a better world for everyone. Empowering women and closing the gender leadership gap are imperative for companies that want to perform at the highest level. That’s where Lean In comes in. Lean In’s programming helps women connect with peers and organizations counteract gender bias.

About Cindy Joyce and Pillar Search:

With personalized service and proven results, Pillar is your partner in executive search and human resources consulting. With over 20 years of experience, Pillar provides national retained search services for exceptional non-profits and foundations and early-stage or rapid growth for-profit firms. All share the characteristic of desiring top talent who want an occupassion, not just an occupation.     In addition, Pillar offers human resources consulting services, which was born of clients requesting help on projects beyond executive search, and includes human resources audits, creating a handbook, assessing organizational design, training, team building, and employee communications.    A woman-owned business, Pillar is based in Boston, MA, and works on both a local and national level. To contact Pillar Search, click here.