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Me Too, Too Many Times

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Me Too. Two simple words that, if you are on Facebook or Twitter, you most likely are seeing pop up as the status update on many women’s and men’s pages.

 

Actress Alyssa Milano, in a Twitter post on October 14, shared the idea that anyone who has been sexually harassed or assaulted write the two words – Me Too – with the rationale that the sheer number of us who would do this would show the world just how widespread this issue really is. In two days, hundreds of thousands of us have posted it, and some have shared stories, using the hashtag #myharveyweinstein, to show that this abuse is not limited to Hollywood, industry, or level in one’s career.

 

The revelations about Harvey Weinstein’s deplorable behavior have sparked a movement.  Perhaps we as a culture are FINALLY ready to discuss something that previously we did not share.  Like, really did not share. Last week, amid the shocking stories coming out about Weinstein, my best friends and I were talking and admitted that we had been targeted in the workplace. Keep in mind these are women that have been in my life for nearly twenty years. We know everything about each other…every bit of each other’s history, what our ATM passwords are, where to find each other’s wills should the worst happen. THIS is the one topic we never really delved into, which saddens me. Why do we share everything, even the scariest, darkest corners of our psyche with each other, but feel too ashamed to discuss something that we did nothing to cause?

 

When it happens, you feel completely scared, humiliated, isolated, and guilty. You figure it must have been something you did. You never assume that this is just a hideous human being with predatory behavior. You hide it from everyone, even your very best friends. ,

 

It is time to rip off the bandage that we have all been using to covering up this shame and start telling our stories. In doing so, we take back the power that Weinstein and monsters like him have had over us. In that vein, here are some of my #MyHarveyWeinstein moments:

 

  • A senior HR professional at the firm my father was one of the top people at.  I was 21, in my first job out of college. Dad’s office was two buildings away, so I would sometimes stop by to say hello to he and his Executive Assistant, who is like family to us. On this particular day, Dad was in a meeting, so I was at her cube. I leaned over the cube wall to look at something on her computer, and the guy stopped by to talk to us. As he stood next to me, he began to fondle my bottom. I was apparently green with disgust, because she brought me in to Dad’s office, where I told her what happened. He was fired within hours.
  • A Managing Director at an investment firm. He moved to Boston from the West Coast for the position. His wife and children had not yet made the move east, and he asked me to spend a weekend with him because “my [expletive] is lonely and wants to spend time with you”. I reported this to my boss. She told me that it was probably because he was from another country and had different views of how women should be treated and to drop it. Two weeks later, a highly respected female Portfolio Manager, who had been at the firm for several years, resigned. In her exit interview, she told me that he was the reason she was leaving. He had made comments like “You’re too old to [expletive] so you are of no use to me” and “old women should just leave the office. I want young and hot”. When I met with him to express concern over these comments, he became incensed and told me that he was going to ruin both her career and mine, and that I should have [expletive] him when I had the chance. When I filed an official complaint with Human Resources at our parent company, I was told that, as a Human Resources professional, I am expected to deal with challenging people and that if I could not handle comments like this I should leave. I did.
  • The CFO at a a financial services firm. Over the course of my tenure, he told me that, as a woman, I should be careful about not talking back to him. He told me that I was too pretty to have anything of substance to say, that if I was not careful, he would find a way to get me fired because he was sick and tired of women like me questioning him, and that I needed to put on some weight because men like curvier women. Keep in mind I was his peer, and the only woman on the executive management team.
  • The Founder/CEO of a banking client. His receptionist resigned, so I started looking for a qualified replacement. When I brought in four incredibly competent and qualified candidates, he dismissed them all. When I asked for feedback, he informed that “Unless I want to [expletive] them as much as I want to [expletive] you, they are not the right candidate. And find me one with [expletive] as good as yours.”
  • The Head of Inside Sales with a company I did consulting work for. I had just returned from an amazing island vacation. He came by my office to catch up, and asked how the vacation was. When I shared that we had a great time, he said that next time he should take me on vacation because “you have no idea the naughty things I want to do to you on a beach.”

 

Harassers, abusers, and [expletive] grabbers take note: We will no longer remain silent when you spew your vile words, will not cover up your abuse, and will not live in secrecy one minute longer. Keep it up and “Me Too” and use of #MyHarveyWeinstein may eventually include your names and addresses.

 

In the words of Alyssa Milano, “This is not an uncommon occurrence. This is a sick culture. Men like Harvey Weinstein are around every corner. Men who undermine women and their strength, ability, and intelligence exist everywhere.”  By sharing our experiences, maybe we can prevent the next generation from having to endure the Weinstein’s of the world.

 

With personalized service and proven results, Pillar Search & HR Consulting provides executive search and human resources consulting services for exceptional non-profits and socially responsible for-profit firms. A woman-owned business, Pillar is based in Boston, MA, and works on the national level. To learn more about how Pillar can assist with your HR and hiring needs, please contact Cindy Joyce, CEO, at cindy@pillarsearch.com.

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superHERoes

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The other day, I co-facilitated a presentation for the Lean In Boston Circle for the inspiring women from PwC Advisory Services in the Seaport with Tamara Gardner of Becoming Bodacious.  We saw the future of women at work in that room, and left energized to continue spreading the powerful message that women are more successful supporting and empowering each other than competing with each other.  These women are superHERoes! 

 

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It Takes a Village to Raise a Career

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In the 1990s, Hillary Clinton released the book It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us.  The premise of the book is that many individuals/entities have a responsibility for raising children: parents, family, teachers, employers, religious organizations, nonprofits, government, and others.

I know of two friends who are currently in job search mode, and it got me thinking that it takes a village when in a job search. One is currently employed, and the other just learned that their job is being eliminated. Both have reached out to people in their “village” as they start their searches: personal, professional, and LinkedIn networks, executive search consultants, professional membership organizations related to their fields, and current/former colleagues. In the case of the friend being laid off, his package includes services with a well-regarded outplacement firm, so he has that resource as well.

Each part of the village in your career trajectory is crucial, and it is important to maintain these connections in good times and in bad. The village offers continuous encouragement, open and honest feedback, and inspiration.

Now, take a look at your career village. Whether you are content in your job or actively looking, is there an area where you could strengthen those connections? Make it a point this week to add connections to your LinkedIn network, reconnect with a former manager or colleague that you have lost touch with, or get involved in a professional organization for people in your field…because while it takes a village, Rome was not built in a day!

Hire the best!  With personalized service and proven results, Pillar Search & HR Consulting provides retained executive search services and human resources consulting for exceptional non-profits and socially responsible for-profit firms. A woman-owned business, Pillar is based in Boston, MA, and works on the national level. To learn more about how Pillar can assist with your hiring and human resources needs, please contact Cindy Joyce at cindy@pillarsearch.com.

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Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

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Yep, I went there. Teamwork makes the dream work. A bit of a tired cliché, but frankly, teams are the very essence of most organizational cultures. We know the benefits of working in teams: enhanced employee engagement, improved relationships with colleagues, more creative solutions, gaining an understanding of different perspectives, and the list goes on. Whether it’s a new team that comes together during a merger or restructuring, to tackle a specific project, or a collaboration between different departments, these steps can help turn that new team into a dream team.

 

Establish a team leader. In some teams, this will be the person managing the individuals. If this is a cross-functional team, it still helps to have the team assign a leader or two who keep everyone on track.

 

Leverage Diversity: Diversity can mean a host of different things. When it comes to a team, yes, having people of different backgrounds and genders is critical, but diversity can also mean including people with different skill sets and business expertise and levels of experience. Look at the boards of some of the most successful companies and you may notice that there is diversity of expertise. Take a cue from them when assembling teams.

 

Establish ground rules. While it may sound simple, establishing expectations, deliverable dates, and responsibilities up front will help the team in the long run, as this way each individual understands the importance of their contributions to the larger group.

 

Course correct: It would be lovely if teams came together, did what needed to be done, and all got along swimmingly. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but it rarely happens! Personal agendas, office politics, challenging personalities, and egos so often get in the way. When that happens, have open conversations to remind people that this is a group effort and that everyone’s input and efforts are important to the outcome.

 

“R before T” (relationship before task): I credit this tip to my favorite professor from graduate school, who started each class with a time for us to share personal updates and catch up. It did bring us closer, and helped us to understand each other beyond our studies and view each other as human beings!

 

Celebrate team success: It can be something as small as a round of applause, a personal thank you note to each team member, a team lunch or happy hour. Marking milestones is crucial, as it lets the team know that they are on the right path or have accomplished what they set out to do.

 

 

Hire the best! With personalized service and proven results, Pillar Search & HR Consulting provides recruiting/search services and human resources consulting for exceptional non-profits and socially responsible for-profit firms. A woman-owned business, Pillar is based in Boston, MA, and works on the national level. To learn more about how Pillar can assist with your hiring and human resources needs, please contact

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Mistake Mastery (Because Your Professional Life Does Not Come with a Magic Eraser)

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An executive who I do leadership coaching with recently shared that a member of her team made a colossal, astronomical-amount-of-money, public relations nightmare mistake. She values the employee, and understands that mistakes happen, but the employee did not own up to the mistake, which only made it worse.

We have all been there. Making a mistake sucks. BIG TIME. And it can cost you – your job, relationships, reputation, credibility, monetary fines, and more. What can you do when you make a major misstep on the job?

  • Own up to it.   I have seen this done well, and I have seen people try to assign blame to others when it was clearly their own wrongdoing. Being honest – and doing so quickly – is always the gracious way to own up to a mistake.
  • Be part of the solution. My first manager out of college used to tell the team “Do not come to me with a problem unless you also have a solution”, which made telling her that I had erroneously withdrawn $1,000,000, not the desired $10,000, from a client’s mutual fund account and was on my way to the mailroom to search high and low before it was mailed a bit easier to swallow. Oops. Have at least the framework of a solution so that steps can be taken quickly to work towards resolution so that you are remembered as much for being part of the positive outcome as you are for the source of the issue.
  • Apologize, and really mean it. Sounds obvious, right? Shocking, but there are many for whom saying the words “I am sorry” or “I was wrong” is a foreign concept. Humility and grace will get you far in life. And do it face-to-face, if possible. Just do not say it multiple times, or you run the risk of looking like you cannot handle the mistake.
  • Say thank you. To clean up the mess, several people may need to get involved. Thank each and every one for doing the extra work to help fix your mess.
  • What did you learn? The difference between a mistake and an epic failure is figuring out what the key takeaways are. Analyze what happened and use that knowledge to improve.
  • Document it. It will come up in your review if it was significant, so when the dust settles, write an accurate and unemotional as possible overview of the problem, what you did to correct it, could prevent in the future, and what you learned from it. That way, you leave nothing out and if and when it comes up again, you have the information at the ready. As a bonus, putting it in writing may help you to see holes in the process or workflow, which provides the opportunity to be more innovative.
  • Do not let it define you. Even if the outcome of this mistake is that you lose your job (and I’m sorry if this is the outcome), remember that mistakes are not labels. You are you and the mistake is the mistake. It is an opportunity to learn and grow. If you let it define you, you run the risk of operating out of fear, which will only result in being risk-averse and complacent.
  • Be kind to you. If someone came to you and told you that they had made a major error, you would likely show them compassion and understanding. Extend this same kindness to yourself.

Life does not come with a magic eraser, so there is no do-over, but everyone, even the most successful legends out there, has a mistake or two (or more!) in their professional history. How you handle the mix-up and how smoothly you move forward is what will leave a lasting impression.

Hire the best! With personalized service and proven results, Pillar Search & HR Consulting provides retained executive search services and human resources consulting for exceptional non-profits and socially responsible for-profit firms. A woman-owned business, Pillar is based in Boston, MA, and works on the national level. To learn more about how Pillar can assist with your hiring and human resources needs, please contact Cindy Joyce at cindy@pillarsearch.com. 

 

 

 

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An Über HR Mess

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In German, über means being the best or superlative in its class. It also means to an extreme or excessive degree. Car service app Uber literally has an über mess on their hands as a result of a blog post by one of their former Engineers, Susan J. Fowler.

On February 19, she posted a blog, Reflecting On One Very, Very Strange Year With Uber, an account of her year with the Bay Area firm and her claims of being sexually harassed, discriminated against, and generally being treated incredibly poorly.

Uber CEO, Travis Kalanick, seemed to quickly acknowledge how horrifying and disturbing Fowler’s account was, tweeting twice the day the blog came out. He first wrote “What’s described here is abhorrent & against everything we believe in. Anyone who behaves this way or thinks this is OK will be fired”, and one minute later, “I’ve instructed our CHRO Liane [Hornsey] to conduct an urgent investigation. There can be absolutely no place for this kind of behavior at Uber.” Two days later, Kalanick announced that, in addition to Hornsey, he would engage Eric Holder, former U.S. Attorney General, Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post and an Uber board member, and others to help with the investigation.

Uber’s decision to make a grand announcement that they brought in luminaries Holder and Huffington is likely meant to demonstrate that Uber takes this situation very seriously, and I have no doubt in their ability to conduct a thorough investigation

Once the dust settles, what Uber will need to focus on is gaining back trust from customers, employees and even future employees. But how?

    • Let employees bring complaints to anyone they feel comfortable with: At some point, Fowler felt that Uber’s human resources team was not helping her, and going to the immediate managers above her was also not successful. Uber, like all companies, should make it clear that employees can go to anyone, up to and including the CEO, if they do not feel comfortable going to HR or their manager.
    • Conduct exit interviews: I do not claim to know how Uber handles employee departures, and in the case of Fowler, the situation may have been too far gone for her to wish to participate in an exit interview, but it is a good lesson. Meet with employees when they resign to learn more about what is prompting the move. Often, employees are hesitant to complain or provide constructive feedback while employed, and once they make the decision to move on will be more forthcoming.
    • Clear communication to employees and customers: We may never know the outcome of this case in its entirety, which is perfectly understandable. These situations require a degree of confidentiality and discretion, but Uber should make both its team members and customers aware of their harassment and discrimination policies. Training should be done across the organization on these topics to ensure that the message is clear to everyone, at all levels, that Uber will not tolerate this going forward.
    • Commit to hiring a diverse team: Part of Fowler’s accusation is that Uber’s team is predominately men, and that the number of women in leadership fell drastically during her tenure with the company. If this is true, shame on Uber. I know from doing executive searches in the Bay Area that finding candidates that reflect the diversity of the Bay Area, particularly women in technology roles, can be a challenge. But it is not impossible. I’ve done it for clients, Facebook has done it, Google has done it. It takes time and effort, and it is not just about finding women and diverse candidates at the leadership roles. It also takes a future-focused effort of having diverse pools of candidates for every role, at every level of the organization, and then ensuring that they have opportunities for training and career development.
    • Become a better corporate citizen. As an Uber customer, I know that they do a lot for charity in their markets, and I applaud that commitment, but now may be the time to do something more significant. Creating a charitable foundation that provides significant financial support to nonprofits focused on bridging the opportunity divide for women and those from diverse backgrounds in the Bay Area (and elsewhere) such as San Francisco Achievers, Year Up, and Girls Who Code, to name but a very few, would help to demonstrate a deep and meaningful commitment to change financially, and would help to prepare women and diverse candidates for careers in technology and other areas where Uber hires.

 

While Fowler’s experience at Uber may ultimately end up in the history and law books among the notorious cases such as the Clarence Thomas Hearings, Tailhook, and the David Letterman scandal, Uber could very well turn this unfortunate situation into a positive. America, after all, has long adored a comeback story.

 

Cindy Joyce is the CEO of Pillar Search & HR Consulting. Pillar provides national executive search services for exceptional non-profits and foundations and socially responsible for-profit firms desiring top talent who want an occupassion, not just an occupation.    In addition, Pillar offers human resources consulting services including leadership coaching, human resources audits, handbooks, assessing organizational design, training, team building, and employee communications. A woman-owned business, Pillar is based in Boston, MA, and works on both the local and national level. For more information, please visit www.pillarsearch.com or email Cindy at cindy@pillarsearch.com.

 

#UberHR